There's an 11 Year Old in the House

As of December 11, we have our very own pre-teen. Audrey, our beautiful little 3-pound preemie baby is about 65 pounds these days and quite grown up. We are so proud of her.

Audrey is in 5th grade and busy, busy every day with her school work, piano, piles of books to read, and questions about the world including weather, fashion, politics, manners, pyschology and so much more. She keeps us hopping.


I have always thought that having a teen will be much easier for me than having a toddler, so I ignore all the stories that could make me dread the teen years. At this stage of the game, Audrey would probably say that I am embarrassing, bossy, and a bit of a pain in the neck. She hates when I act weird in public and doesn't want me telling her what to do anymore. I've told her the weirdness is genetic and untreatable. As for the bossiness, she's gaining independence by leaps and bounds - pretty soon she'll be telling me what to do.

It remains to be seen, but I imagine my daughters growing up to be my friends with the teen years as a very long getting-to-know you phase. They won't be crazy about my rules and advice, so I will tread lightly and show them lots of love. We will get through it together.

Audrey is showing so much maturity and thoughtfulness. She has always been a responsible kid, and we appreciate her conscientiousness. She's also a fun and funny person. She sees the humor in a lot everyday things, and lately, one of those everyday things is her mom's forgetfulness. Audrey is a sweet big sister about 80 percent of the time - and that percentage goes up every day - and Claire is occasionally heard saying how lucky she is that her big sister will play with her. Audrey's also more than ready to share her experience and opinions with Claire as Claire makes her way toward 8.

Audrey has some serious vision issues. She says she's used to it and not to worry. I can't help but worry, and translate my concern to constant and annoying attention to keeping her prescription current and turning on lots of lights whenever she's reading or doing homework. Earlier this year, we were very happy to have a specialist tell us he was pretty sure she does not have glaucoma. She'll be seeing him once a year for some time, but so far, the news has been good.

Audrey goes to middle school next year and is a little nervous about that. It's going to be a huge change for our family and it's a good thing we have almost a year to prepare ourselves. Audrey is a Girl Scouts, takes tennis and piano, and joined a choir this fall. They sang in three concerts the weekend after her birthday. She said she liked the practices better than the performances, and we loved seeing her excitement over the music. Audrey is also an aspiring artist and writer and impresses us with her determination and attention to detail in both areas.

Audrey had a wonderful Kindergarten teacher. Mrs. Schrank had already taught for 50 years when she had Audrey in her class. Mrs. Schrank died last month and we have spent a lot of time talking about what made her so special to us. One of the things I remember well was Mrs. Schrank saying to me, about Audrey "She's just a good person. You can tell." I don't know anyone better equipped to see that in a 5 year old, but I know she was right. Audrey has an innate sense of right and wrong, a commitment to honesty, and a strong desire not to cause any harm to any person or creature.

Of course she argues with her sister and talks back to her parents and is not crazy about her household jobs or a long list of vegetables, but she is a good person. We see that every day. We are so grateful for her.

Crazy Things We Say

When they are not complaining, crying, fighting or coming down with a cold, my kids are tons of fun. I love the way they think and I love that they both have a quirky sense of humor. Here's the last year or so worth of quotable quotes - just the ones that really tickled.



January 2013


Claire: "I've got static hair. I need it to leave me alone."

Claire trying, with difficulty, to make a fort with pillows: "Does this thing need therapy or something?"
Audrey, in reply: "There is no such thing as therapy for pillows."

February 2013

Claire: "OK, I cannot understand this conversation."

Melissa: "Not all dirt is dirty."

Claire: "Why my toenails get so long is because I can't bite them."

Audrey to Claire: "Understand, rubber band?"
Claire in reply: "I'm not a rubber band. I'm not even sphere shaped."

Claire with her feet in Melissa's face: "Which one smells better?"

March 2013

Claire's opinion on whether she'd let people take tours of the White House if she were the president: "I wouldn't mind. Well, I wouldn't let them jump on the beds or anything."

Audrey to Claire after some debate about the need for clothing: "Yea, everyone wears clothes. If they didn't, what would happen?"
Claire in reply: "Police."

Claire on March 21 - the day before her birthday: "Always call me your 5 year old - even when I'm grown up.
Melissa, in reply: "OK, sniff."

Claire at 7:30 AM on her birthday: "I'm not too 6 yet."

Claire to Dad at bedtime on her birthday: "Sometimes, I lick my knee."

Claire: "What's a handy-down?"

Claire to the boy next door, who was searching for a missing Easter egg, not long after Dad shared some of Yoda's best wisdom with her and Audrey: "There is no try!"

March 26 Claire's first loose tooth

April 2013

April 23 - Claire loses her first tooth at Disneyland

May 2013 
Nothing

June 2013

Melissa to family during a word of the week discussion: "What does 'virtue' mean?"
Claire, in reply: "You have a cold."

Claire: "I'm not afraid of mice and porcupines, I'm only afraid of their pokes."

Audrey to Claire: Get off me, you're in your underwear!"
(Later that same day) Claire to Audrey: "I"m trying to hug you!"
Audrey in reply: "I'm trying to stop you hugging me."

Audrey playing the piano.
Mark to Audrey: "What is that song?"
Audrey answers: "'I Will Be Violent.'"
Mark corrects: "'I Will Be Valiant?'"
Audrey: "Whatever."

Claire: "I don't get what I am talking about."

Audrey: "Did I just lose my tooth!?"
Mom and Dad: "Yes! Where is it?"
Audrey: "I don't know! I think I swallowed it! Oh, here it is."

Claire after going out for Chinese food: "My fortunes are getting crumpled!"

July 2013

Claire: "I can't believe today is summer's birthday."

Audrey: "I was laughing so hard I was making no noise."

Claire after trying and failing to get a neighbor boy to do what she wanted: "I tried to fake cry, but I didn't
have any water."

August 2013

Claire: "I just turned starving."

Audrey to Papa (George Bean) while camping in San Clemente: "Could you please stop burping every 10 minutes?"
Papa to Audrey: "Who are you talking to?"

Other miscellaneous and mostly unattributable quotes from our camping trip:
"I call this a fun day."
"The crows ate our bacon."
"Is that a bat?"
"A skunk tried to get in our garbage last night." (Mark)
"An ant crawled across my face." (Melissa)
"It's more fun to spank people when they're naked."
"It's OK, I didn't get any in my mouth."

Mark to Claire: "Do you know what an appetizer is?"
Claire, in reply: "Yes, it's the part of the dinner that you eat before you say the prayer."

Audrey after a traumatic dental appointment and a really bad fall within two days: "I'm going to keep a pillow over my face."

Audrey: "I don't know how big a football field really is. When you see it on TV it's shrinkenerized."

August 21: Audrey loses 2 teeth in one day
August 22: Claire loses her second tooth ever

September 2013

Audrey: "If burps smelled our house would be perfumed disgusting."

Melissa to Claire: "I'm moody."
Claire, in reply: "You mean you're like a cow?"

Audrey tells Claire to hit her mute button.
Claire to Audrey: "I don't have any mutant buttons! There is no mutant button on me!"
Audrey, in reply: "MUTE!"

Claire at the dinner table: "These are so good. I haven't even tasted it yet."
Audrey's opinion: "I don't think that's funny enough for the calendar."

Mark to Claire at bedtime: "Pretend that you are a butterfly and your bed is a giant tulip."
Claire in reply: "I'm an ARMADILLO."

October 2013

Audrey to Claire: "Sitting on me doesn't help. Ow, you're standing on my hair. You just kneed me in the ear."
Claire in reply: "Sorry."

Melissa: "Is it smoky in here?"
Claire farts.
Audrey: "It is now."

November 2013
Claire to Melissa: "You should see your hair - it looks like some kind of monster."

Audrey: "Sometimes, I dry my hands on my hair."

Claire making up words: "Corn-dinator is the person who coordinates corn."

December 2013

Claire: "I'd better eat something or I'm going to get grouchy."

Audrey: "No offense to pigs, but I really like bacon."

Claire on Santa: "The good thing about Santa is we get presents and we don't have to pay for them. Maybe he uses our taxes to buy them."

Melissa to Claire at bathtime: "Lean back, I need to un-soap your hair."
Claire in reply: "Un-soap? You mean rinse. Un-soap is not a word."

January 2014

Claire calling the medium-sized spider in her room a "teenager daddy long leg"

February 2014

Claire: "Never leave old snacks in your backpack or it will smell like shoes."

Audrey after offering to give Claire a horseback ride: "You can't ride me unless you have pants on."

March 2014 
Nothing

April 2014 


Claire heading for the cabin after several skunk encounters during our stay at El Capitan Canyon: "I've had enough skunk experience."

Claire: "I wonder if animals fart..."

Claire: "Nobody talks more than home-schoolers."

Melissa: "Not EVERY dinner has to be about farts."

Claire turns 7

We just celebrated Claire's 7th birthday. I can never write about my children's birthdays without saying I can't believe how much they've grown. Fortunately for us, Claire is a sweet as ever, so even if she's growing up, we still get a lot of love, kind words and kisses from our littlest.

Claire is in first grade. Her class is made up of 19 boys and 9 girls. I'm not crazy about that ratio, but she's a really independent girl, so it doesn't seem to affect her. She's reading very well and sounding out everything she sees these days. She still likes for us to read to her, and we are enjoying that while it lasts. She does well in math and her other school work, and her teacher says she loves having her in her class. Claire still loves to craft and is always making the most interesting things like printer paper dioramas and hangtags for our doorknobs. She loves to work with clay, paint, glitter and whatever else is on hand.

It's fun to watch Claire eat. When she likes something she relishes every giant mouthful. I often have to tell her to eat smaller bites, and she tries, for awhile, but then goes back to stuffing herself and saying, "Um, this is GOOD." She loves fruits and vegetables and has just found out how much more delicious Ranch dip makes raw carrots, cauliflower and broccoli. Claire can't get enough sweets, either, and I've started keeping canned whipped cream in the fridge so she can make a dessert out of anything, but usually strawberries she'll wash and cut for herself. She's still not a big meat eater and gagged on the lovely corned beef I served on St. Patrick's Day. She knows what she likes and she enjoys a lot of deliscious things like artichokes and avocado, raspberries and roasted butternut squash, so it's fun to feed her.

Claire's room always looks like a tornado just hit. I help her clean it up and two hours later it's wall-to-wall clothes, shoes, books and toys again. When I give her a hard time about it she just smiles, shrugs, and says "It doesn't bother me." That's something you've got to love about Claire - not the mess, but the attitude. Lately she's doing a lot with her Legos and they're often strewn about the living room like confetti. American Girl is another favorite.

Claire just finished a dance class and had her recital two weeks ago. She was really nervous about it and wanted me to let her off the hook. It wasn't easy but I told her that I was pushing her to do it because I knew it was something special that she would remember always and of which she would be proud. She did really well, but when I went to pick her up backstage she looked ready to cry. I asked her what was going on she she said "I thought I was going to win one of those awards!" (They'd given out two awards for inspirational students and she really wanted one.) I comforted her, but was secretly pleased that she felt deserving enough to be disappointed. Maybe next time! We celebrated with a late night ice cream and put her to bed completely exhausted, but happy. I gave her hug and a kiss goodnight and she said "Mom, I'm really glad you made me do that." I nearly cried.

Our girls have a "job chart" with chores for each day and Claire does hers faithfully. I wouldn't call her room "tidy," but we've already established our standards are not the same. Claire helps me in the kitchen and is interested in the various tools and techniques required for cooking. She always enjoys TV and her latest face is Treehouse Masters. Every morning we turn on the heater and Claire grabs her clothes and dresses in front of the vent - she loves it. Claire still dresses like a little girl - polka dots with stripes, red with pink and blue, polka dots with more polka dots - and I hope that goes on as long as it can. She sleeps like a little wild thing and I always check on her before I go to bed because usually her blankets are on the floor and sometimes she's halfway off the bed herself.

 

Claire's a sensitive person, but resilient. She cares about everyone's feelings and will cry when her sister gets in trouble. She likes to share and give away her treasures. She's supportive and understanding, even to her parents. Sometimes, I think I'd better watch her more closely, because she's so good at taking care of herself she might need me more than it seems.

Claire's really funny and loves to make faces, joke about farts, and play with words. She cracks up when I rewrite the words to her favorite songs ("The skunks will come out, tomorrow..."). She's a delight to be around pretty much all the time. I'm sure that as she grows there will be tough times and maybe even some conflict, even though it's hard to imagine, but I know what a beautiful person she is inside, and I think we're going to have a  wonderful time with Claire.